"Head...Shoulders...Knees and...SOCKS!"

How much weight do the words "I love you" really have? I mean I know that they can be some pretty heavy words, but sometimes they seem to just get thrown around. I asked Spouse about this last night. Before I go to bed each night, I'll let him know that I'm going upstairs and then add "love you!" Or when we're online during the day, and we'll always sign off with our own cheesie couple code word for "love you!" (Come on...admit it...you have one too...even my in-laws have their own secret codeword!) So I asked him if saying it in those situtations was seen as a throw-away comment, or if they meant something, and they meant something. They do to me as well, because part of me always worries when I don't get a "love you too!" in return.

The first time a boy told me that I (knowing I didn't feel the same way) responded with an "uh-huh" or "ok" Eventually I replied "I love you too" just so he wouldn't break up with me. Love #2 was my first true love, and someone with whom I have stayed friends with over these many years. Love #3 couldn't (wouldn't) reciprocate because he was still reeling from a broken heart. I finally understood how #1 must have felt - building up the courage to say it, and not get anything in return.

Then I met Spouse. And poor thing...the first time he told me he loved me was tough on him. It was met with a deafening silence, mainly because I wasn't sure I heard him right (there was a rather loud fan going in the room). By the time I finished my internal debate of "what did he just say?", it was too long and awkward to reply. I think we talked about how I wasn't ready to say that, and he understood, but obviously everything worked out. I knew the moment I loved him was when I realized that my world would come to a crashing halt if he wasn't in it, and that I don't know what I would do if he wasn't a part of my life and my future.

Now the love I have for my son is completely different. Something you never fully understand until you are a parent. After he was born I was reminded of the 1991 Ellen Barkin movie "Switch" in which she was a chauvinist pig reincarnated as a gorgeous blonde. He couldn't get into Heaven until he had finally experienced unconditional love, which happened after she (he) gave birth at the end of the movie. We have been trying to teach the kid sign language, and every morning and each night we sign "I love you" When we do that now, he crosses his arms, which is the sign for love. Not sure if he gets it, but it makes us all smile.

It is my wish that everyone will have the opportunity at least once in their life to say and hear those three words and have them truly deeply mean something. I hope the day never ever comes when me or Spouse saying those three words to each other becomes a meaningless throw-away comment.