"Head...Shoulders...Knees and...SOCKS!"

OK. So tonight I was all prepared to post some random thoughts I had today. Such as the fact that Donald Trump charges a speaking fee of 300k simply for the fact that he then donates it to charity, and about the chick who got fired this week on the Apprentice also was fired from her real job because of the remarks she made on the show about two elderly women who she assumed were Jewish.

But then I got a load of the 2004 Neiman Marcus Christmas Book.

This is always a big event because of the crazy "fantasy gifts" that they include. This year those items include:

1. His and Hers 5,000 square foot bowling center. "You choose the architectural style and provide the land, we will do the rest!" (Sani-Spray Shoe Sanitizer not included).

2. NM Limited edition 2005 Maserati Quattroporte. The color has already been chosen, but there are only 60 available. 0-60 in 5.1
"breathtaking" seconds, but the speed tops out at 170mph.

3. The Deep Flight Aviator. It's a 22 foot long submarine that can dive to 1500 feet and support life for 24 hours! Lessons included.

4. NM Exclusive Las Vegas Trike. Not for the kids! This one is a big-ass motorcycle. Big enough for you AND your bitches.

5. A custom suit of armor. For when you are tired of throwing waffles at your would-be girlfriends house, and really want to make an impression at her workplace.

6. Lifetime AAirpass membership for two. This one gets my vote for the one that I wish I could afford. It allows you to book seating in any available cabin with full VIP privileges for any open seat on any flight flown by American Airlines for the rest of your freaking life (or the rest of the airlines existence what with the state of airlines these days.) The only problem is you are stuck flying American Airlines.

7. Valentino Haute Couture Gown package. Poop-de-doo. You get a
dress, a trip to Paris with some friends, and lunch with the designer. And you get to see the Valentino fashion show - woo!

8. Grand Ole Opry Experience. You get to sit in with the band, music lessons, an autographed guitar, accomodations, to co-host the warm up show on live AM radio, but the best part is the Customized matching his and her jackets designed by Manuel - jacketeer to the stars!

9. Zepplin NT. Be the first in the world to own your own private Zepplin. It can accomodate 15 people (including pilot) and can fly up to 70 knots for 24 hours. Make sure to plan for parking, and don't even think about flying it over D.C. We have our own damn blimp right now thank you very much.

10. Pink sapphire and diamond jewlery. Earrings, bracelet, and necklace. Only one set available in the world. Buy it now while you still can!

Now without cheating... can anyone match the prices to the gifts?

a. $25,000.--
b. $1,450,000.--
c. $2,500,000.--
d. $1,700,000.--
e. $20,000.--
f. $65,000.--
g. $125,000.--
h. $5,000,000.--
i. $10,000,000.--
j. $325,000.--

I wonder how much the shipping costs are...

Lastly, Richard Avedon was an incredible photographer with an incredible eye. His vision will surely be missed in the world.